BOYS WILL BE BOYS.

Except they won't. Or, don't have to be. Why do people still insist on using phrases like this? I was recently on facebook and someone I don't know commented on a friends status post about potty training. My friend was having trouble with potty training her son who is about the same age as Stan and this women commented "Boys tend to be harder as they concentrate on things less". REALLY? I mean, REALLY???!!! Are you actually serious? I was so shocked to read this. It made me (probably unnecessarily) angry. In this day and age with all the problems we have with boys not doing so well at schools (according to statistics), women, and mothers (I checked, she has two children, a boy and a girl) feel the need to stereotype children this young. She has basically written off her son and all boys with this silly comment. Do you not think if we continue to tell boys they are no good, concentrate less etc then they will go on to do just that.

Many parents still seem so set on putting girls and boys into these.....dare I say it, pink/blue camps? I often even hear myself at playgrounds justifying Stanley's timid behaviour that he is shy and doesn't want to go down the slide with all the other boys. Why do I end up laughing it off sometimes and I'm so ashamed to say I've even be known to make fun of his cautious ways to other parents to fit in in all this stupid playground/playgroup parent hierarchy.

Why do boys have to be more boisterous and loud and girls quiet, sensible and thoughtful in their play. I know this to be untrue just in the small friendship group I share. I have friends with kids who have boys that are playful, loud and sometimes unruly, but I know many friends daughters that are also the same - and what fun they are! I also know quiet sensitive cautious boys (Stan being one of them) but I know girls that have similar traits. What does it really matter anyway how quickly they walk, talk, learn to go down a slide, potty train? Surely all we should be focusing on it letting them enjoy being who they are, and a CHILD, no matter what that might be and how that fits in with what is the 'norm'.

MY BOY IS TWO

Dear Stanley, I've never been a big one of being organised to do monthly updates and the like...things like life (and you!) seem to get in my way. But as you are turning two tomorrow I thought it would be a good moment to write a little down for me to remember and for you to one day read about what you are like now. Firstly, where the heck has two years gone?! I know they say time flies, and there are a hundred more cliches to use, but man it really does! We didn't know we were having a boy, we had decided not to find out the sex, I knew I'd need a reason to push if it all became too much. (You however had different ideas and our home birth turned into an ambulance dash and you coming out the sunroof, but that is a story I feel I will probably never share on here!) I didn't ever really think too much about having a boy, I think really if I'm honest I probably wanted a girl first, thinking perhaps they were easier and I was one so how wrong can you go? The moment I had you though I've never known a love like it. It still frightens me sometimes with how strong it is, how it takes over and makes me cry thinking of all the things I want for you and don't want for you.

a few days old

You are still so little but you already are your own little person, you show signs of being like me or Daddy, but you are definitely your own character. You are kind, really kind. Perhaps not so much to the cat. You are loving and thoughtful. You say "excuse me" or "sorry" if you try and squeeze past me or anyone else in trying to get somewhere. You always say "thank you" and "please", and very often without any promting. You are friendly to most, smiling and chatty to new people. Sometimes you are shy and a mummy's boy, but normally because you are having an off day. You are cautious though about things you are unsure of. Especially when it comes to being physically active. You are not the first up the climbing frame and down a slide, in fact I think you have only been down a slide once or twice, preferring to stand at the top when you've changed your mind and shouting "mummy 'uddle" to get me to get you down. I think cautious kitty is what I'm renaming you. I wouldn't go so far as to calling you a wimp at times like this....but maybe in the future if it continues. I think you are a sensitive boy, not a typical boy 'boy' if you know what I mean. You can still be tricksy with food, but I really feel that is my own issues (your Daddy calls me a feeder) but you certainly do know what you like. Some of the more adventurous things you'll put away are olives, smoked salmon and cashew nuts. Not cheap taste that is for sure. You love chocolate, and I mean LOVE it. Your face lights up if we let you have a little as a treat. Seeing that face and hearing the hilarious "oooh oooh" noises you make it is tempting to give you the whole bar. But we don't.

You are a chatterbox. That is probably my fault. Man do I like to talk and so it appears do you. You narrate my life the moment we get up. Only this morning when I came into your room because I could hear you were awake did you say "oh, good morning mummy. stanley done a poo-poo" Then everything is pointed out to me like I can't see anything and explained. It is lovely though, and really quite endearing. You like to say "mummy". A lot. In fact even if I'm looking right at you and nodding you continue to say "mummy" louder and louder until I say "yes Stanley" and then you tell me what it is you've been desperate to say. You form full sentences of 7 to 10 words easily and it completely amazes me. I'm struggling not to use foul language around you now I know how many things you are picking up on a daily basis!

1st birthday

You finally sleep through. You rarely wake in the night for no reason, I think you are beginning to have bad dreams, so I'm sure they'll be restless nights ahead for me. Oh joy. You like to rise early, which is ok for me so long as I can have my cup of tea. You still love your morning and evening milk, from a bottle. Yes I still haven't weaned you off them (hello mumsnet I don't care). I need to really, I should just throw them away and be done with it, perhaps I will....tomorrow. You have a dummy still for sleeping at night and nap times. You are good though and never ask for it in the day, not even if you are upset. It is a wonder tool for sleep though and I am not getting rid of it for quite a while yet! You go to bed happily, trotting off up stairs when we say, calling out "come on mummy, come on then" as you climb. You are really into stories and love to be read to at bedtime, you have even shown interest in my books now which makes me so happy. (You will learn to like them even if you think you prefer the Gruffalo.) You seem to be average in height and build, not the tallest of little boys and girls your age though, but then neither myself or your Daddy are really tall. You like learning things and showing me what you know, and I just know you will be the child at school trying not to have a hernia because you hand is up so high in a 'pick me pick me' way! You can count to twelve but then get stuck and go back to eight and then up to twelve again and so on until I prompt you that actually thirteen is next, but I'm still impressed. I feel you may also be a telltale at school as you certainly like things to be right, and you don't like getting into trouble. That is not to say you are not of course fun. Boy are you a fun thing to be around all day. You are my child, my friend, my helper and my confindant. Being with you every day is an absolute pleasure and I love you more each day. I cannot wait to see what you get up to in this next year.

jan 1st, 2013, just a few days before you turn two

Love, Mummy x

MEETING FRIENDS

And by friends I mean internet friends. I always started blogging as a way to show my working methods in my illustration. Bits and pieces that inspire me - other work I love and my own books and illustration. Recently as you know I have included Stanley in my blog as he is obviously the main part of my life and this has led me down a different blogging path and into the paths of other like minded bloggers. I am not one normally for the whole social networking scene. I'm not on twitter, I don't have time for it and I know I'd be too concincious about how many followers I'd have...I'm needy like that! So when I started blogging and being brave enough to come out of the woodwork (or lurking I think it's called in the internet world!) and comment on a few nice blogs I started to feel good. Meet other like minded Mums that were blogger Mums but not typical mummy bloggers if you see what I mean! In that group I have met designers, makers, vintage collectors, inspiring workers and generally amazing Mums. I'm really enjoying blogging at the moment, I feel relaxed about it all, happy to blog as and when I feel I need to. I just wished I could jet all over the place to meet these new people in the flesh. For the time though I'm happy seeing what they are up to in the world of cyberspace and planning a few more UK based trips. A while ago I recieved the most amazing parcel from one of my favourite bloggers Jenny. (Who unfortunately is stopping blogging in just a few short days) She had a vintage sale online and was good enough to send to the UK. She slippped in an extra goodie for me and wrote the sweetest note, what a thoughtful touch from someone I have never officially met.

I'm happy to have 'met' people like her, and hope to continue to do so. As we speak I am off tomorrow to meet up with two bloggers I know on-line but have yet to meet in real life. I'm looking forward to the little trip down to Bristol to see Abbi and Fritha. I don't feel weird about it, I know we'll get on because we've all been chatting for almost a year. I do sometimes feel though that I have to justify my friendship - like other people think it's odd. It feels sometimes that the word 'internet friend' is a dirty word. Which is silly because I remember before the internet days penpal was never a dirty word - it was encouraged to keep up correspondence and find out about other lives around the world. I think any friend no matter how you know them is still a friend. That is not to say the my friends round the corner mean any less or more, they are just there for me in a different way. Jenny posted a great piece about it on her blog recently and the sentiments she expressed I totally agree with. Heck if it wasn't so far and so expensive I'd be making trips to see Jenny herself, Drea and Ashley if they'd have me and Stanley for a visit!!!

THE BALANCING ACT...

Recently I've been struggling to juggle working and being a Mum. I'm not sure if it is because on the whole Stanley is easier to look after and therefore I can take on more, or if I feel like I ought to be doing more. Anyway my days without him now seem so rushed from start to finish. I never take a break and always eat my lunch at my computer whilst trying to check emails, blog, or catch up with the few blogs I follow! I've never been great at balancing things. I think the trouble with having only ever worked freelance is that you feel the moment you stop that will be it. Work offers will dry up and and no one will ever employ you again! I use to teach part time at Kingston University on the Foundation course there and I LOVED that. It was lovely to have a slightly more 'normal' job and work regular hours getting paid on time etc etc. When I got pregnant though I felt I needed to give it up as I knew I could never commute the hour and a half to work when he was little, or when he was old enough to get to nursery, the hours just didn't match up.

When I was pregnant I never stopped working. I had no maternity pay from an employer, just the teeny tiny bit you get from the government, so I felt like I should just keep going until my bump got so big in the last couple of weeks I was just too far from my desk to reach my colouring pencils! I took my first job on when Stanley was 8 weeks old, and it was for cbeebies, called Driver Dan's Story train (you can see the artwork for it here.) It perhaps wasn't my finest piece of work but they were happy with it and in the end I enjoyed doing it. I'm not sure it was the best idea, but I wanted to keep the work coming, and you know what it is like, as a freelancer you feel like you can't say no to anything! I don't know how I would have managed it if it wasn't for Grandparents help. I remember I took the call, said "yes" and then put down the phone looking at tiny Stanley thinking what have I done? I can barely get dressed and showered most days how will I work?!  I breast fed up until he was 8 months old so that limited how long he could be away from me, so I used to do short bursts for maybe 2 hours here and there when someone else would take him for a walk. He never napped for long in the early days so I didn't have that luxury! It all went ok in the end though and I felt hugely satisfied having finished the brief and they were happy with it!

I always envy other mums with 'real' jobs as they have this specific time frame of 9 months or so where they get paid (however much that might be) and switch off from work a bit while they concentrate on just being a Mum. I don't feel I have ever done that. Perhaps I will always have a case of the grass is always greener. Maybe my job seems perfect to others as I can fit it around Stanley.

Now he is older he goes off to one set of Grandparents on a Monday and one set on a Thursday for the whole day. That means two full days a week to work, blog, make food and clean the house a bit. At them moment is is working so well and he loves spending time with his Grandparents. I feel very lucky to have this help nearby, I've no idea how I'd manage without it.

So other working Mum's out there. How do you all manage your time? Whether you are freelance working from home, a studio, a full time blogger, or you have a 'normal' job that you go out to. How do you find you manage your time best? Am I fairly normal for feeling like I could and should do more work? Or do you feel you have the balance just right? Any tips or words of wisdom would be wonderful!

Right, back to work I go!

HONEST FOOD

Things seem better this time around. Perhaps I've chilled out a bit without really meaning too, and maybe all the conversations with this lady and her little Hooper have helped me feel more sane! On the whole Stanley seems to be eating a bit more, and in one sitting. Hoorah! He is understanding the phrase "all done" and he now uses it himself when he's finished. He's pretty clear that he is in fact most definitely all done, if I even try to put another spoonful his way his little face screws up in disgust! This is fine by me, by no means do I want this to become a future battleground, so when he says enough, I just stop. If I think he's proabbly eaten enough and is not being picky I offer him pudding - some fruit, a sweet rice cake or a yogurt. If I think he's being difficult then no pudding is offered.
He is trier though I'll give him that. This week he decided he was into olives and radishes since myself and Ben were eating them for lunch and he wanted them too. So that is good, he is never put off from a first taste and I've realised that something may take at least 4 goes before it is fully accepted. I am only giving him things I'd be happy to eat after so I don't have a complete melt down over food wastage.

cucumber, fish fingers, courgette polpettes (has never eaten them...)

roasted tomato and veg pasta with orzo (he eats this pasta, but not rice???!!!)

pancakes with raspberries - he at last likes pancakes!

soya burger with cheese, veggie fingers and corn on the cob

beans, scrambled egg and toast (note the toast is untouched)

lentils in a tomato sauce with peas

sweet potato cakes, humous and peas

home made pizza with tomato, pesto and cheese

So a few other things...he refuses to wear a bib, always needs a toy with him at the table (eating is just sooooo very boring by itself, right?!) he also normally needs to feed the toy or car some of his food and almost always stands up at some point in between mouthfulls. He also exclaimed this week when I pointed to his peas (I point to everything on his plate and say what it is so he is not suspicious) "I like peas!", I was like, oh good!

Hope all of you that are having fun with your picky eaters had a good week. As always feel free to share tips, recipes, woes here in the comment section or link back your site! Happy feeding everyone!

♥ S & s

THOUGHTS

Hello, sorry I've been away for so long. The truth is I didn't really know what to blog about. Maybe because I didn't have anything blog worthy. Or maybe I was too busy. I sort of hope it was because I was enjoying life and not worrying about blogging. I don't think that was the case either. I was reading other peoples blogs and thinking "I really must post something soon". It's been 2 days since my last post. 3 days. 4, 5, and now 6? However why do I really care? Does anyone really care? This isn't a for profit blog. Not currently anyway, maybe in the future who knows. It was set up first as a pure illustration blog, recording my work and only that. Nothing really about my life or home, or anything outside illustration. Then Stanley came along and I felt lost in my work, out of touch and sort of re-invented the blog to include him. To post creatively, to make me feel like that part of my life, being a Mum was also work, creative work. Somewhere along the line my hits went up a bit. Nothing major really but that made me feel I ought to blog more, and made me conscious about what content I was posting. I feel like I've become a jack/blog of all trades, master of...... Posting on random subjects, not really sticking to one thing. I'm not sure this really matters, but I think recently I felt my posts have become content weak. I'm just sticking up a few pictures and writing a sentence or two, not really worthy of a whole blog post but desperate to make sure I've at least blogged today. Anyway I guess what I'm trying to say is perhaps I'll blog a little less, but hope to have more interesting posts. I think that sounds like total common sense now, but took me a while to realise it! I hope that the mixture of the illustration/baby thing is ok too. And those of you that read my blog for illustration don't roll your eyes when a 'Stanley Style' or other baby related post crops up. I've realised too that blogging properly takes time, which I don't have a vast amount of. I like my evenings to myself and my husband and don't want to be attached to this darn computer when Stanley has gone to bed. I want to enjoy my time instead of documenting it and sticking it up here for all to see. I also need to do work. Paid work. I need to get cracking on several book projects that I have to devote much more time to if I'm going to succeed at them. Hopefully I'll be able to post about them up here soon, and many more interesting things....just maybe not so often in future. Thanks for reading and commenting though when you do. It is always nice to hear from you.

♥ S & s

REAL LIFE.

somedays most days when i put stanley to bed...i am greeted with this. mess. everywhere. every room has been hit and i only have ONE child to look after. who knows what it will look like if i have any more! sometimes i try and take nice pictures. beautiful photos of my life, stanley, my work and what we're up to. tonight while i type this the house looks like these pictures. i'm typing right now in that desk mess ignoring the to-do list and the pile of papers i'm supposed to file... this is real life, sorry it's not pretty but i thought i'd share anyway. i'm too tired to get creative with the shots so you have it as is.

even the cat is sitting on pillows and cushions i've had out to wash and put away for weeks now. she's the only one happy with the situation!

hoping to post something more lovely looking soon....