17/09/2012

THE BALANCING ACT...


Recently I've been struggling to juggle working and being a Mum. I'm not sure if it is because on the whole Stanley is easier to look after and therefore I can take on more, or if I feel like I ought to be doing more. Anyway my days without him now seem so rushed from start to finish. I never take a break and always eat my lunch at my computer whilst trying to check emails, blog, or catch up with the few blogs I follow! I've never been great at balancing things. I think the trouble with having only ever worked freelance is that you feel the moment you stop that will be it. Work offers will dry up and and no one will ever employ you again! I use to teach part time at Kingston University on the Foundation course there and I LOVED that. It was lovely to have a slightly more 'normal' job and work regular hours getting paid on time etc etc. When I got pregnant though I felt I needed to give it up as I knew I could never commute the hour and a half to work when he was little, or when he was old enough to get to nursery, the hours just didn't match up.

When I was pregnant I never stopped working. I had no maternity pay from an employer, just the teeny tiny bit you get from the government, so I felt like I should just keep going until my bump got so big in the last couple of weeks I was just too far from my desk to reach my colouring pencils! I took my first job on when Stanley was 8 weeks old, and it was for cbeebies, called Driver Dan's Story train (you can see the artwork for it here.) It perhaps wasn't my finest piece of work but they were happy with it and in the end I enjoyed doing it. I'm not sure it was the best idea, but I wanted to keep the work coming, and you know what it is like, as a freelancer you feel like you can't say no to anything! I don't know how I would have managed it if it wasn't for Grandparents help. I remember I took the call, said "yes" and then put down the phone looking at tiny Stanley thinking what have I done? I can barely get dressed and showered most days how will I work?!  I breast fed up until he was 8 months old so that limited how long he could be away from me, so I used to do short bursts for maybe 2 hours here and there when someone else would take him for a walk. He never napped for long in the early days so I didn't have that luxury! It all went ok in the end though and I felt hugely satisfied having finished the brief and they were happy with it!

I always envy other mums with 'real' jobs as they have this specific time frame of 9 months or so where they get paid (however much that might be) and switch off from work a bit while they concentrate on just being a Mum. I don't feel I have ever done that. Perhaps I will always have a case of the grass is always greener. Maybe my job seems perfect to others as I can fit it around Stanley.

Now he is older he goes off to one set of Grandparents on a Monday and one set on a Thursday for the whole day. That means two full days a week to work, blog, make food and clean the house a bit. At them moment is is working so well and he loves spending time with his Grandparents. I feel very lucky to have this help nearby, I've no idea how I'd manage without it.

So other working Mum's out there. How do you all manage your time? Whether you are freelance working from home, a studio, a full time blogger, or you have a 'normal' job that you go out to. How do you find you manage your time best? Am I fairly normal for feeling like I could and should do more work? Or do you feel you have the balance just right? Any tips or words of wisdom would be wonderful!

Right, back to work I go!

10 comments:

  1. I work just half time so I can be home with my son while he is still small (he's 13 months right now). I started my job in September and have loved getting away from home, and yes, from baby too. I think this partially came from the fact that I took a full year off after he was born, and this being the U.S., that year was 100% unpaid, uninsured and difficult. Now I try to embrace the freedom my job has given me, as it allows me to step away from all the domesticity and use a whole separate part of my brain. Plus, I am all the happier to see my son when I come home from work now! To answer your question... I manage my time by waking up before everyone to have some time to myself, and then I don't take a breath again until bedtime.

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    1. I do think there is a benefit by getting away from Stanley. I agree that I totally appreciate him when he has been away from me for a day, and it is nice to use the 'work' part of my brain not just the 'mum' bit!

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  2. I find the hardest thing is never switching off from work because every spare moment I have I work in, whether that is a baby free afternoon or a 20 minute nap! I often feel I start my working day after Baby's bedtime and adult's dinner... I don't have any regular childcare so have to utilise my evenings and weekends or I would never get ANYTHING done! I can't complain because it was my choice not to return to my busy city job and to freelance instead - but I do often find myself feeling like I'm not doing anything properly!

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    1. I think that is the trouble with having your work at home. You feel you always are doing it, and you always can so there is no real way to switch off from it all. But I agree there are benefits to that too - being able to be home for Stanley and there for him when he needs me is nice too!

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  3. Both my husband and I work full time and our son Tallon, is in day care during the day. We are very grateful that the ladies who watch him are very kind and we know he's being cared for. Luckily, my husband doesn't start work until late morning, so he is able to spend time with Tallon before then. I pick up Tallon around 5, have two hours with him before bed and hubby only sees him in the morning. We cherish our weekends with our son and hope that one day I won't have to work.

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    1. It sounds like a good balance to me. I'm not sure where you are but day care here is ridiculously priced and although I do work, freelance picture books don't pay much! I'd like to put him in for a couple of days but it just doesn't make any financial sense for us. Which is a shame because I think children also benefit from being around others at nursery, learning to share etc. I hope for you you get the chance to not work in the future.

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  4. I'm impressed you managed to take a job on when Stanley was 8 weeks! I think most freelancers have a similar feeling that once they stop working there won't be anymore. I've just literally taken on my first illustration job since Harry came along 10 months ago. I wish I had managed to do some work before now though as I do feel I've dropped out of the illustration world somewhat. I don't get a lot of time to myself during the day at the moment so will have to squeeze in some sketching in the evenings for this job. It's a little nerve-wracking, I haven't held a pencil in so long! I do think it's important to try and have some kind of routine when freelancing though, I noticed when I started working in a studio away from home how liberating it was to try and have evenings and weekends free, it's healthy to keep a distance from your work sometimes! I guess we just have to work extra hard now with children to keep that balance. Although, I'll probably be saying something entirely different once I've (hopefully) completed a few more jobs!

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    1. Congrats on taking on your first job! I use to love my studio too for the same reason - that is felt a little more normal and I could close the door on it and physically leave it even if not always mentally. I'm dreaming that when Stanley is older and at school I can find a studio space again!

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  5. Oh there are so many things I want to say to this post, but only so much time to say it... I hear Hooper just waking up and I'm sure you know what that's like. I feel ya sister. On so many levels, as usual. I have a "regular" job, so I do enjoy this time completely off. Even with this time, however, I feel there is not enough time in the day to take care of myself, the little ones, the dog, the house, my blog, and so and so forth. I have a list of post ideas waiting to be written, photos waiting to be edited, dishes waiting to be cleaned, a neck yearning to be rubbed... you get the idea... and a toddler just waking up... signifying an end to the time I supposedly had to do all these things and yet they still aren't done... but that's because our to-do lists are ongoing. There's never an end. So my advice is, take it one day at a time. Come up with a realistic to do list just for the day and make it something small so you know you can complete it. Easier said than done, right? In any case, thought you would enjoy this post my sister wrote regarding working as a freelancer: http://day.kimhooperwrites.com/2012/08/28/what-its-like-to-be-a-freelancer/

    Take it easy :) As a side note, I notice your Charley Harper book in the photos above and think it must be a sign. Just visited my best friend in Utah who had the same book and actually cut a page out for me to frame in one of the boys rooms.

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  6. Our stories are so similar! At 8 weeks I got offered an opportunity with Paperchase (I designed their 2012 valentines range which sold well hence them contacting me at this time). Unfortunately I wasnt able to take them up on this offer, looking back I may have had PND back in those early days. I do remember a huge amount of crying and was in no state to work at that time. Its something I regret quite a bit as I have only done three commissions in the last 9 months and none of them on that scale.
    Wilf is another baby that does not nap (unless on me/rocked my me) and so its hard to get back into the swing of working, I do hope I can make it work though and just being able to do those little jobs meant a great deal. I am always inspired and impressed by the amount you are able to do with Stanley! Another issue for me is having no family close, any work really only gets done on the weekend when T can have him. Hopefully I will get to a point where I may be able to afford some nursery time (when W is a bit older) and things can pick up! It will work out some how I know it!
    I think you have done so well, keep up the good work! xx

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